Before you think me a verbal reactionary, know that I am not opposed to the creation of new words. That our language is constantly evolving is one of the things that make it so much fun to be a writer; it’s much more challenging to find exactly the right word when you have so many good ones to choose from. But new words must fill a need that an existing word doesn’t fill. Cyberspace is such a word; there didn’t use to be any cyberspace, but now there is, and we need a way to describe it.

There are something like two hundred thousand words in the English language, each of which has the virtue of being real. With so many perfectly good options to choose from, why do people make unnecessary words up? Are they trying to sound smart? Most of the people I work with are smart. At least I thought they were, until they started making up words. Maybe I was wrong; maybe they’re only smartful.

The thing is this: most businesspeople are afraid to take a stand on anything that might ultimately make them look bad. That’s why so much business writing is passive, elusive and non-committal. If I say, “Let’s do this!” I’m pretty damned committed; I’ve taken a stand. But if I say, “This is the plan that we ought to adopt” and the plan fails, well…I hardly gave it a ringing endorsement, now did I?

So this new habit of sticking –ful on everything fits right in with the prevailing corporate cowardice. It’s mushy and vague and it doesn’t commit you to anything. “Having a plan” is definite and decisive. You can review the plan, critique the plan, benchmark the plan, and most importantly, measure the success or failure of the plan.

But “being planful” is committing to nothing but a general attitude; you’re in a mood to have a plan, perhaps, or you’re going through the motions of having a plan, but…well, you don’t actually have to have a plan, do you? So if things don’t work out, will they think of you as a failure? Of course not. The worst you can be is failful.

And everyone knows that’s much betterful.